Messypeaches

WARNING: Contains spoilers for Ninja Assassin. Don't read this if you think that you want to be surprised by--

No. Calling them plot twists is seriously unfair to all the quality plot out there getting honestly twisted. I've seen episodes of Blue's Clues with more surprises. (Particularly the episode where you find out Steve is going to college, never to return. Since I believe Blue's Clues is a sort of complicated metaphor for an insane asylum, watching the lead inmate leave to live a normal life was quiet touching. Look, I'm a nanny, I've seen a LOT of Blue's Clues; I had to think of SOMETHING to keep from going mad.)

I'm going to be honest, I went to see this for Rain and violence. If you, like me, are a fan of Rain wandering around a set being sex-on-a-stick while in various stages of not really dressed, then I heartily recommend this movie. If you, like me, are a fan of violent scenes that are so over the top they wander into the Looney Tunes world of falling anvils and scattered limbs? Then I recommend this movie.

If you prefer meaningful films with deep, well-rounded characters, violence, good acting, sculpted abs and rad effects...

Go watch Fight Club. I'll wait.

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Still good, isn't it?

On a side note, in the previews there was a review for a movie called Youth in Revolt, which looks like a Fight Club you don't have to watch twice. Since it is probably both Norton and Pitt-free, and instead has two Michel Ceras, I'll let you do the math there.

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It was AWFUL, but it was awful the way deep fried jalapenos and Krispy-Kreme hamburgers are bad. Tasty, tasty empty calories.

Nezu and I recommend going to see it, because Rain should be allowed to do more shirtless laundry in movies, and we don't care how much it costs to hire a crew to follow him around with a mister bottle full of oil.

We REALLY recommend smuggling in a bottle of your favorite spirit and liberally spiking your four-dollar soda with it. For starters, with a liberal amount of mental lubrication, you won't mind paying as much for a snack as you would for a meal at Burger King.

Secondly, the drinking game'd be easy.

Dead guy, take a drink. Black sand, take a drink. Limb hits the ground? Take a drink. Gouts of CGI blood? Take a drink. Rain's abs? Take a drink. Flashback? Take a drink. Every time the OMG SO BAD dialogue makes you snort? Wait till you calm down, and take a drink.

You should probably just pick, like, a few of those though, or you'll drink yourself to death.

(Real life notes: Thanksgiving was VERY good, it's been a fun week.)

(Other note: Also posted at guntotinglesbo )